JR Swift’s Blog

What I’m Thinking About Today

Perspective or Why Do We Care

Posted by jrswift on April 7, 2008

Sitting here with my gut churning and nervous as hell and there is absolutely no rational reason for it, none at all.  My life will not change in any way, shape or form regardless of what happens tonight in San Antonio.  Oh, I guess that if I my alma mater, the University of Kansas, wins tonight and takes the National Championship, there will be a really big party here in Lawrence and everyone will be pretty happy for a few weeks but I don’t know that that is rational either.  I guess the desire to experience that unbelievable rush again is rational.  April 4, 1988 is one of those days I’ll never forget and, while I’ll never experience it quite the same way, I’d love to see how it feels 20 years later.  Mostly I’d like those who weren’t here 20 years ago to have a chance to feel just how good that feels once in their life.  I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the sense of community and connection that I felt that night and into the morning and on into the next week.  It doesn’t make any sense but it did feel good.  For a few days, everyone is your friend and it is fun just waking up and being alive.

I guess it is too bad that we can’t feel that way about life without a sporting event turning out a certain way.  Too bad that we can’t all feel truly connected and alive for some reason that really means something and not because a few college kids won a game somewhere, a game we did nothing to win.  In our strange world, we elevate our celebrities and sports stars to near royalty.  We imagine that we know them and care about them and we pour our heart and soul into the games they play.  I guess that is part of the fun of it.  I guess that in a world where we have no real drama in our lives, we live through their exploits.  They are our warriors in a world without true warriors.

Nonetheless, I am still nervous as hell.  It is almost like I have to go out there and play.  Or maybe it is worse than that.  Maybe it is more nerve-wracking when someone else is fighting your battle and all you can do is stand around and cheer and hope and even pray that something good happens.  Oddly enough, this is supposed to be fun.  Truthfully, the game itself never feels very fun anymore.  Most of the time I can’t even bring myself to watch it.  Well I’m going to watch the damned thing tonight and I’m going to have fun doing it.  And if the kids playing it have fun, then God bless ’em.  And if we win, that will be fun too.  And if we don’t, I’ll stand up and give Memphis a hand because they will have earned it.

So there…there’s my thoughts.  Probably no one will read it but that’s OK.  I write this stuff for me and if anyone else gets something out of it, that is just a bonus.  Have a great night.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk

JR

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